I Don't Hate

So I'm sitting in my cubicle, when a coworker walks by, talking on his cel phone, saying something about "Well, I don't know how she could marry her. Lesbians shouldn't be able to get married"

Is this gay marriage “debate” the stupidest thing of all time, or is it just me? Why are we still talking about this? It's old news.

Does it really matter to me if two gay people get married? Either way, my life is still going to be the same: I’m still going to like to watch reality tv, play the “Superman” theme song on full volume during sex, and spend 80% of my disposable income on vodka and Budweiser.

And as far as “compromising the sanctity of marriage”, I mean, do you live in the US? Everybody gets divorced! If you don’t, you are officially in the minority!

Like many people, I can’t wait to get married. This is mostly because I just want to gain a bunch of weight and let myself go completely. I’ve also been saving change for a engagement ring since I was about 12, and I’m pretty much going to marry the next girlfriend I have (so ladies, look out!).

But back to the gay marriage thing: doesn’t all that hate (for gays and/or gay marriage) seem like a lot of work? All that yelling and standing outside and getting red in the face - wouldn’t you rather just stay home and watch “The Price Is Right?” And you have to make all those signs that say, “Ain’t No Gays Should Get Married Round Here” or “Gays Gettin Marryed [sic] Ain’t Right!”, which requires a trip to the hardware store to get paint, a paint brush, posterboard, and then you actually have to make the sign, which I imagine would take up a good part of your day, not to mention the cleaning up after making the sign.

So I don’t hate anybody. Not because I don’t have feelings of hatred, but because I’m just too lazy.