Hump Day

Ah, Wednesday - hump day. The day that means you’re one day away from Thursday, but just far enough away from the weekend that you get so pissed off you start wishing that you would come down with some contagious disease that would get you out of work, but the disease wouldn’t make you so sick that you couldn’t drink beer or take drugs, and also the disease somehow made you much more attractive to women, particularly women of Asian descent, particularly women of Asian descent with gigantic fake breasts, so attractive to them that you’d have so much sex over the next few days that you would throw out all your porn, most of which you are sick of anyway, because you are having so much sex with hot Asian ladies with big boobies, when, let’s face it, you’re barely healthy enough for sexual activity anyway and per doctor’s orders you shouldn’t be having so much sex to begin with.

I don’t know where that came from, but anyway - it’s Wednesday. And I’ve got nothing. Absolutely nothing. But, since if I were to skip a day I would probably be stoned to death (which is not a reflection on the fact that you all in any way need to read what I have to say about my body hair, lack of sexual activity, and masturbatory habits, but rather an indication of how bored you all are at your places of employment, so bored that you would in fact take a life via stoning), I’ll force it. Because I love you. And yes, in that way. Don’t play dumb - you know what I’m talking about.