Other People's Blogs Suck

I've been spending some time checking out other people's blogs, and I have a few observations:

1) No one's is as good as mine. Like, not even close. This is not a knock against other blogs, but a testament to how truly special I am (I mean "special" in the same sense as "special ed").

2) Asian people have some very high-tech blogs. And I don't mean Asian-Americans, I mean real Asians: people from Singapore and Japan and other Asia-type countries. Some of the graphics on these things require separate downloads. You know what? No thanks. I don't need to download Flash 11.0 so that I can read about how you and your friends went to the mall on Tuesday. Unless you went to the mall and had a giant orgy and all of your friends have extremely large boobs. If that's the case, please email me.

3) The youth of America are barely literate. Teenagers have some atrocious blogs. When their words are interspersed with capital and lowercase letters (LiKe thIS bITch), they use @ for "a" and $ for "S", it makes me sad, and even more determined to never have kids (on purpose).

4) I've been cracking myself up by leaving comments on other people's blogs whose blogs are in a different language. There'll be a ten paragraph opus written in Portuguese, and I'll make a comment like "Totally." I've done this probably twenty times already, and each time it gets funnier (to me).

5) People care a lot about politics. Like, a whole lot. Apparently, there are people who support Bush. I wouldn't know it, but they actually do exist, and they are very pissed at liberals. Go figure.

6) People write a lot about their emotions, wailing away endlessly about loss, desperation, happiness, fear, etc. I guess I write a lot about my emotions too, but the difference is that the only emotions I have are lust and hunger. Oh, and revenge. That's my favorite one.

7) Some blogs are downright sad. In the "About Me" section, one person wrote (and I'm not making this up):

I decided to retire a couple years ago..was thinking about working part time until I broke my ankle and the way it swells will not allow me to be on it long..We have 2 dogs, 2 cats and 2 birds for pets..We have a piano I keep thinking I should learn to paly [sic]but have not tackled that yet..

I mean, I don't know what I feel, but it's not "good", and it's definitely not "horny."