Stop Singing, Ice Cream Vendors!

I went to Cold Stone twice this weekend and came to a conclusion: the singing has to stop. Whenever you tip them, one yells, “Hey guys, we got a tip!” and they all break into song. It is very, very uncomfortable.

I went on Saturday and it wasn’t a big deal, because when I tipped them the place was packed with people and there were a lot of Cold Stone workers behind the counter singing, so I just got the hell out of there and let the crowd deal with the song. But when I went on Sunday, there were only three employees working and myself and another woman in the store. So when I got my ice cream I tipped and sure enough, the three employees started singing. I didn’t know if I was supposed to sit there and listen to them sing or what, but I got the hell out of there and let the other customer deal with it. Very, very uncomfortable.

The sad thing is that I don’t think I can tip these guys anymore. I mean, I really want to - what with them giving me a delicious and over-sized ice cream treat - but I can’t take that singing. And I feel like if I tried to tip the guy but said something like, “You don’t have to sing”, it would turn into some Larry David-esque episode with him calling me out on it and saying, “What? You don’t like our cheerful singing?” and then a customer saying, “Yeah - what’s wrong with you?” and then some hot chick saying, “He’s just bitter because he’s fat!” But unlike Larry David, I would grab a fucking chair and hit the bitch who called me fat and would scream “You fucking bitch! I will kill you and shit on your grave! I will shit on your fucking grave in front of your family and your pets! Do you know who the fuck I am!" I am sensitive about my weight.

So sorry, no more tips.