Stay Alive Until Your Next Fix/Drink

I learned a valuable lesson in college. Poor people need food too. Long gone are the days of wandering through grocery stores searching for expired ground beef that's 10% off, and throwing perfectly good cans of beets in the aisles to get the manager to give me 50% off. Having been through this, I know that there is a big market segment of poor college students willing to eat shitty food to stay alive. But what I don't understand is why no one has tapped into the starving and desperate demographic of homeless people that we see on the streets everyday.

Sure, people will give them free food and try to help them, but it's about time that someone took advantage of their misfortune. It's my plan to open a chain of grocery stores offering a low-cost, trashcan fire friendly line of foods marketed to the homeless. It will be mostly pasta and bread products to keep the prices down and will have public restrooms open to even the dirtiest of hobos. For a store name I'm thinking about "Stay Alive Until Your Next Fix/Drink". I've also made a list of possible slogans:

"Give your ringworm the best in Italian cuisine"
"You shouldn't be ashamed of yourself"
"We accept bags of pennies"
"Have lunch in a box, in a box"
"Because Jesus forgot you"

Think about it...I can even make my own SAUYNF/D foods. The line will have several products at launch, including "Deluxe Cheese Macaroni" and "Party Blend", which is just the leftover pieces of crushed macaroni soaked in MSG. The first store will also offer a healthy, cheap Grape Nuts alternative called "You're Almost Dead". It's made of petrified wood, Centrum Silver, recycled paper towels, and potting soil.

In addition to the sub-standard ingredients, I will also keep prices low by employing children and by robbing and selling whoever passes out in the store.

Any investors?