The Metamorphosis

I'm not sure when my subconscious got tuned into bald pussy.

The first girl I was with did have some hair down there. It wasn’t crazy 70’s bush, mind you, but it wasn’t exactly a putting green either. I could have given a damn about what kind of hair her twat was sporting at that point, though. The only thing I cared about was getting my face deep between her legs.

As I got older, I noticed that most of the ladies I hooked up with had some hair on their nether regions. Once again, as long as they didn’t have a dick between her legs, I didn't care. But occasionally, I would see gorgeous women in magazines and in porn that were shaved, and I thought to myself "Might be cool to bury my face or cock in some of that sort of snatch", but for some reason, the chicks I was doing were always sporting a pussy beard. I had the all out bush, where you spend half your time looking for the entrance. The landing strip, which is always nice with the neat spot of hair just above the mythological clitoris. The "regular trim", with just a little off the top. Hell, I was even with a broad who had her pubes in the shape of a heart - yeah, I know, how original, but how many of you fuckers have actually seen that shit? I had to give her an A for effort, but it looked more like a blob of Elmer's glue. Nonetheless, none of them were all out shaved.

As I got older, I went into full Jedi mode attempting to hookup with a girl who was completely shaved. In quiet desperation, I became a full-time underage customer at a strip club not too far from my house. That was the place where I damn near fell in love with "Samantha". Her real name? Well, I’m not exactly sure. The funny part, she made me wait until the second date to have sex with her. A stripper with morals. Whoda thunkit? It was well worth the wait, however, because when I removed that thong from her, there was the prettiest pussy I had ever seen and it was shaved. Completely. For a split second, drums played, golden rays of sunshine spilled upon me, and I wasn’t sure what to do. How could a slimy stripper have such a pretty pussy? I asked myself. And in quick order, I came to the logical conclusion, Who the fuck cares? I proceeded to lick her naked slit with reckless abandonment, and after about a minute and a half of pure dick-in-pussy ecstasy I spilled by man gravy. Quite a first impression, I'm sure. My first shaved pussy and I popped faster than a high schooler on prom night. It was so good in fact, I wanted to run to the end of the hall and wake my mom up to tell her what I had just experienced.

A few weeks later my beautiful bald pussy dumped me, though. She muttered something about moving back in with her husband, and since then I have been obsessed with the absence of pubes. I’ve come to the realization that most women like their short hairs, and few don’t. Sometimes, they don’t have time to shave or are just too lazy. Some say it makes them itch, but those blessed few say they think hair is dirty. Makes no difference to me. Although a shaved pussy is no match for a hairy one, I won’t kick the next one out of the bed over a little hair above her hatchet wound.

And I sure ain't paying any extra for her to take the rest of it off.