Bear Fucker, Do You Need Assistance?

I'm pretty damn excited right now – indeed, my panties are as moist as Officer Farva’s back after a long day of rubbing against the vinyl seats of his cruiser – in anticipation of what will hopefully be the funniest movie since Rocky IV:

Club Dread

When I first heard this movie’s name in passing, I imagined it was going to be some sort of low-budget, finger-sniffing shtick-flick by a no-name, second tier comedy lackey. I was almost correct – it’s by FIVE no-name comedy lackeys, Broken Lizard, the same mustachioed fellows who created the greatest, most hilarious drug scene in cinematic history in the opening sequence of Super Troopers. Too bad I didn’t get to see that on the big screen – the movie is 100 minutes long, and it was only in theaters for 102 minutes.

But that’s why I'm so fucking pumped about Club Dread. This shit should be funnier than nuts on a parakeet. I don’t know shit about it, and, frankly, I don’t want to know anything about it until I see it. If you want to know more, check out www.clubdread.com. Just don’t tell me about it, or I’ll… I’ll… I’ll light your country music award on fire.

MEOW!