As

The song “As” by Stevie Wonder may be the greatest song of all-time. The first time I heard this song I was at, um, an a capella show.

Now, before you pass judgement - let me explain: an ex-girlfriend of mine was in an a capella group in college, and as a good boyfriend, I went to see her perform. This is really an entirely different post, because I need a lot of space to describe the torment I felt over seeing her not only singing a capella songs, which in itself is just really…uncomfortable, but also watching her performing the percussion parts in these a capella songs. Talk about a deal breaker. No man should have to watch his girlfriend doing a much cornier version of the beat-box. How are you supposed to feel the same about someone after you’ve watched them make those stupid beat-box noises to the Eurythmics’ “Sweet Dreams”? Or after going on vacation with them and listening to the group’s tapes every single time you drove around in the car? I swear to god - about twelve minutes in, I was seriously considering just driving the fucking car into a telephone pole just to make that music stop (it was a rental anyway, and if I angled it the right way, I could have probably minimized any serious injury). I should stop - I’m getting chills (not the good ones) just thinking about it.

But anyway, but this other a capella group from Stanford performed at this show I was at and did “As” and it was unreal (yeah, I know, I know - I’m gay because I liked it. While we’re at it, I love George Michael and Abba. So fuck y’all.). I thought to myself, “I’ve got to hear the original of that song, but it’s going to be hard to top that version.”

But I was wrong. If you haven’t heard this song, please listen to it. Remember while you listen to it that some blind dude wrote it. Think about it: he can’t see shit! Nothing! And he wrote this incredible song (and a bunch of others too)! There are mornings when I am so hungover that I need help putting on my shoes or washing my hair, and this guy who doesn’t know a $100 bill from a $1 bill is one of the greatest musicians of all-time. Makes you think, doesn’t it?

[Well, not really. I just sort of said that.]