To The Honorable Mr. Dogg

I have been a loyal fan for many years. I was listening to you, The Snoop D-O DOUBLE GIZZLE way back in the day of Deep Cover. Remember that shit? Yeah, that's right - 187 on a mother-fucking cop. I remember the day I started wearing lowtop Chuck Taylor's because that's what you wore. I started treating women like hoes and tricks back in the 90's, and sporting my blue rag on my right side because of you. I became a pothead stoner because I wanted to be just like Snoop. I made living selling crack cocaine because that's what the Doggfather did.

I have watched every god awful movie you have been in, including that garbage Baby Boy, because of my loyalty. I have defended every bullshit hairdo you have sported, and have attended almost every concert in and around my area. I even talked my girlfriend into buying me Snoop's Girls Gone Wild.

You, Mr. Dogg, have contributed to what rap is today. You have always been hardcore and have spit fire onto all the busters of the world. But today, Sir Dogg, I take off my Chuck Taylor's and pull my blue flag from my back pocket, because today, you have turned your back on me and every rap fan in the world. I say Fuck You Snoop. Out of all the people you could have made a song and video with, why in the fuck would you pick Justin Timberlake?

Today, you have officially sold out. There is nothing gangsta about Timberlake. Everyone knows you don't need him to get pussy, which makes it so difficult to understand why on earth you would be in the same vicinity of that bitch. For Christ sakes Snoop, the lil' bastard was a fucking Mouseketeer.

See any similarity there? Living by the codes of the streets, I hereby request that the ball be set in motion to strip you of your stripes and street cred. I ask where were your advisors when you agreed to do this song. What's next, a collaboration with a fucking American Idol contestant?
I am disgusted by your actions. Eazy E must be turning in his grave. No true gangsta would make this move. I understand that sometimes, times are tough, and bills still have to be paid, but in no way, shape or form should you have been on the same screen as that punk Timberlake, unless you were putting a boot on his head. The end of the world is right around the corner. Little Indian boys shooting schools up, zombies getting their feeding devices pulled, the Pope about to kick the bucket, and now these shenanigans. Although your songs and records have become obviously soft in recent years, things looked as though they were being kept gangsta when you and your peeps were accused of drugging and gangbanging some make-up slut on some talk show.

I expect compensation for my many loyal years of support:

10 concerts @ $45.00 = $450.00
5 cd's @$15.00 = $75.00
120lbs of mexican weed @ $240.00 a lb.= $28,880.00
25lbs of chronic weed @ $900.00 a lb = $22,500.00
1 9mm pistol @ $550.00

I'm sure that fat fucker Ruben Studdard is sitting at home waiting for your bitch ass to call to make a video with him. Thanks for deciding to sell out with Justin Timberlake, and thanks killing rap music. Fucker.

I only hope that Timberlake had nothing to do with your recent divorce.