10 Things, Not 100

Often bloggers write “100 Things About Me” lists. I, like pretty much everyone else, hate these. On the one hand, it’s very egotistical to believe that a reader would spend 15 minutes reading about the minutiae of your life (“I like cheeseburgers!”, “I have green eyes!”). No one cares, jerkoff.

On the other hand, these things are really hard to write. Not that they’re hard per se, but they take a very long time.

I have solved both these dilemmas. In response to the first, I am not your average blogger and also my “100 things” will actually be interesting. In response to the second, instead of listing all 100 at once and boring you to tears, I will list them 10 at a time. This is also not hard for me to write, since I’m giving you them as the come to me, not sitting and trying to hammer out 100 things at once.

So may I present to you, “100 Things About Me, Numbers 1 through 10”:

1) There's only 3 people on the planet that have my last name.
2) I am punctual to the point of compulsion and will seriously fuck you up if you are late or keep me waiting.
3) The first concert I ever saw was Kiss, when I was 12.
4) The second concert I saw was Rush.
5) I read all magazines starting from the back.
6) I cook and clean daily.
7) I love spending time alone, usually stoned, with a book.
8) I have never given blood.
9) I never wear white socks, unless it's with white sneakers
10) I can’t shuffle a deck of cards.

Is your mind blown or what?