The Day After The 4th

There's a bag full of goodies behind me and a pile of punks on the table between the butane lighter and the cooler. With enough DOT Class C fireworks to blow hell out of the mountain, the view from this secluded spot in the mountains is pretty good today, and if my interest falters or the clock runs out, there's always the propane torch to light things a little quicker. When I get back to town I'll send this out, but for the moment I'm alone in the wilderness with friends laying rubber somewhere on the highway out of town and beer to drink before they get here. So, a cold one and a few thoughts to mark the occasion...

Happy Day After Fourth of July, Independence Day, Christmas in July, whatever you call the glorious holiday. May your day be full of BBQs and family, friends and fun, and may your evening be magical under the fire above. In celebration of America, I would like to take a moment to reflect on the certain hallmark freedoms our country was founded upon, recognize the ones we've developed in the last two-hundred-and-twenty-odd years, and celebrate just a few of the perks from our membership in Club America:

Religion: Believe what you want, how, where, when, and why you want. Yeah God; yeah us!
Alcohol: We have it, Middle Eastern countries largely don't. Take that, jihad!
Speech: Say what you want, about what you want, how you want, to whom you want
Expression: Art is free...at least, making and showing art is unrestricted by the government
Marriage/dating: We don't dig on pre-arranged marriages like some countries. Sleep with whoever you want
Political Disapproval: Hate Bush? Think Kerry is the worst disaster we've ever avoided? You can think, say, and write such things...and not go to jail. Good thing, or this place wouldn't exist. U-S-A!
Firearms: Despite the best efforts of a vocal minority, we still have, use, and love guns
Personal Choice: Take whatever job you can get, spend or save your money as you see fit, get paid what the company wants to pay you...it's all good, 'cause we're not Communist like China
Fireworks: They're legal in most states; cops in the rest don't care for the next 24 hours
Military service: It's voluntary if you want to do it, not compulsory to make you do it...so blow something up in honor of our fighting forces and their choice to serve
Internet: The government doesn't block 90% of foreign websites (like China), guaranteeing an uninterrupted stream of foreign porn 24/7. Oh, and stock info and world news too.
Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness: Want a sex change? Does it make you happy to hit yourself in the face with a ball peen hammer while singing on a street corner? Care to live in a shanty in the woods and never see anyone again? You can, if you want...it's your right!
All Men are Created Equal: In America, anyway. All women are created equal in Sweden. Or at least, identical. But here, unlike India and Britain, we don't have a Caste system, serfdoms, or annoying royal families...just the Kennedys.

Yup, America is a pretty great place. We gave the world television, cars, the Internet, modern medicine, democracy, thermo nuclear weapons, propane BBQ grills, french fries, hamburgers, milkshakes, and Cadillac. We can do most of what we want, most of the time, in most places (claim void in Massachusetts and California). It's a pretty good place to be. And today is the best day to be here, like Pamplona during the bullfights or anywhere in London at 4pm...only we have fireworks and beer.

So enjoy your 5th of July, and celebrate your freedoms, all at once.