You and Your Stem - A Comparative Study

"I made it very clear to the Congress that the use of federal money, taxpayers' money to promote science which destroys life in order to save life is - I'm against that."
- George W. Bush, Chief Executive Cocksucker

To tell you the truth, I'm stricken somewhat silent at this one.

And the reasons are not as obvious as you may think. But if you've spent any time at all in my madhouse, a couple of truths should be acknowledged. First, I have a special place for W in my heart...actually about eighteen inches south of my heart, right at the end of my colon. Second, with the exception of the occasional whore piece, I've largely abstained from voicing my opinion on any political matter (sans the quarterly W-bashing). If we hold these truths to be self-evident, you people should know that when I step into the crosshairs to throw down on George, I mean hard business.

And hard business, my dear friends, is any involving killing and religion.

Because for all that cockswinging and Texas talk resonating from the White House, our fearless leader is far from fearless. Indeed, with the exception of Cocaine and Education, the only word which commands George's complete attention is God. The God that appointed W to cleanse the earth of Allah-worshipping infidels. The God that empowered the USA to appropriate fossil fuels from distant exotic lands for our driving pleasure. And the God that condemns stem-cell research as the murder of tiny unborn humans to save the lives of living breathing humans.

Problem is, folks, I actually agree with the fucker.

Not on all that killing and stealing business. No, even in my newfound sobriety I haven't fallen that far to the right. But something about this whole embryo farming and dissection idea just doesn't seem quite right. Perhaps some latent Anglo-Saxon Christianity has gotten a hold of me. Perhaps the fact that major organ development begins within a few days of conception and there is a detectable heartbeat not so long after, somewhat blurs the lines between "embryo" and "fetus" and "neonate". Whatever the case, I have opinions, and being that I'm writing this, I get to say whatever I want. For example, should I say:

George W. Bush is a murdering fuckhole.

I will surely be rewarded a stream of vicious email in defense of our American President, with an occasional whimper of "Hell, yeah!" support from some random anarchist. But rather than attack science as basis for this wrongdoing, I might opine on the philosophical arguments surrounding sustained life by artificial means and the value of a "potential" person. Fuck all that shit. So before I get all vindictive on you, allow me to explain in layman's terms because, after all, we are laymen. Let's take a closer look at this:

"I made it very clear to the Congress that the use of federal money, taxpayers' money to promote science which destroys life in order to save life is - I'm against that."

Yes, emphasis added, because I want you to see how George has carefully qualified his objection. Worded in this manner, your President has simultaneously condemned killing in the name of science to promote life. And neatly leaves killing in the name of God on his list of "things that are OK to do". This sort of logic is exactly the sort I would expect from either a brilliant public relations executive, or an ignorant backwoods politician. But for argument's sake, let's just nod and agree.

Because if we can agree that killing to promote science is bad, then we must question the morals of our administration. Color me peculiar, but I fail to see how actions such as using laser-guided precision armaments to bombard Babylon back to Bronze Age, or processing crude Iraqi oil into 93 Octane don't "promote science". Nor do I see how carefully orchestrating the controlled demolition of the World Trade Center avoids some inadvertent promotion of science. Hell, if we were to take a good close look at the use of "taxpayers' money" to destroy life to save life, methinks George W. would have quite a bit of explaining to do. So if we revisit my earlier premise:

George W. Bush is a murdering fuckhole.

The least we can do is flesh out the argument a bit.

George W. Bush is a self-righteous born-again drug addict and alcoholic, who in his narcissistic delusion has taken his "charge to keep" and decided to go on a world tour.

While ignoring the Vatican and most of his own countrymen in attacking the Middle East, he thumps his Bible to garner approval and stop perhaps the only scientific hope mankind has to perpetuate life. His haphazard record of Texas execution, defense spending, misappropriating our Social Security funds, incarcerating random people without due process, and fabricating reason for war is the mindset of a borderline sociopath with neither foresight nor consideration of consequence. Only a raging cokehead with religious zeal could possibly pull-off this string of lies and cover-ups, while duping some 200 million people to believe what he says.

Or maybe Christ himself.

Who woulda thunkit?